ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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