....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
