also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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