How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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