if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
