My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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