gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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