Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
