..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
