Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
