do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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