Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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