So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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