Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
