who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
