from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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