one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
