he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
