If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
