I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
