you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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