I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
