If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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