Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
