I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
