so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
