I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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