No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
