my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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