gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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