remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
