It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
