I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Are we still banned from the library?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
