We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
