dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
