I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
