HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
two words...techno handjob
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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