Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
