well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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