This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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