I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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