apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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