great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Shame is for Republicans.
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