Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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