who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
