it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
