Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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