i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
