I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
