she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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