do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
