He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
