i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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