She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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