would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
