There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am available for nakedness
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
