where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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