i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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